whose own suffering has spilled onto other people, there is always the possibility of compassion. There is always potential for mercy toward the suffering and confused person that hurts another."
Murder is unforgivable. But when I see with the deepest compassion the suffering of the murderer, this one I can forgive. But first, I must prepare myself. While there are no steps to forgiveness, there are causes and conditions we can set in motion to receive the benediction of forgiveness. And when it happens, forgiveness enters like grace -- magic, perfect understanding.
So to plough the ground for forgiveness, my technique is first to get quiet. That is how I forgave the murderer of three of my family. First quiet. I settle my mind, through writing a poem, taking a walk in the woods, sitting in meditation, breathing in yoga, gazing at a waterfall. Then I ask myself, "Who hurt you? How deeply did they hurt you? And I try to be specific about where the incident happened, what we were doing, and what feelings was I experiencing? What odors, textures, sights, sounds? What sort of a mood was I in that day? Have I avoided dealing with my anger toward that other person? Have I faced my anger? Am I afraid to expose my anger or guilt? Is your anger affecting your health? Has this injury caused a permanent change in my life? Has it changed my world view? Am I willing to begin to walk the path of forgiveness?
Yet this is only a beginning. More soon.